Putting an end to relational conflict.

God's Living Word

It's so great that the word of God has practical insights and answers to the every day problems we face as God's people. This week at King's we have been looking at "relational conflicts"

this may not be the best subject in the world but if we are honest with ourselves barely a week goes by without us facing some kind of relational conflict with someone in our world.

James 4 v 1-2

James encourages us not to underestimate the problem and sweep it away or brush it off with comments like "Well, I'm just not like them" or "We're wired differently" but rather he encourages us to face up to what is really going on in our hearts when relational conflict arises. As we read through the passage James shows us that we can see things just as fights and quarrels but what is really going on within us is war and murder. James who is always one to go for the jugular when we need to change wants to make it very clear to us what the real deal is here and for us to examine our motives and hearts. We are not getting what"WE" want. Rather than just pointing out our foolishness and pride or just leaving us with our knowing we need to deal with the motives of our hearts, James provides such wisdom as to how we can be free from this war that goes on within us when relational conflict raises it's ugly head.

What we need is humility, what we need to do is humble our hearts and act in a way that is Christ-like. Jesus our saviour humbled himself and became a servant for us to deal with our relational conflict with the Father. More than that He, the sinless one, became sin for us. The one who had forever had relationship with the Father was cut off from the Father as our sin was put on Him and our relational conflict was dealt with forever.

How can we in the light of His love and in the light of His humility allow hostility to exist between us and others. It's time to hang up the boxing gloves, it's time to see our relational conflict for what it is and above all it's time again to see how our wonderful Saviour dealt with the greatest relational conflict ever for us.

So What Are We Aiming At?

Let's be a community that loves like He did and forgives in the way He did and choose to be humble even when offended. That is a rare sort of Church and one the world will take notice of! Why not listen to my sermon on James 4 then you may want to put those boxing gloves away, eh! You can listen to my sermon the The King's Family Church website HERE.

Love is not an option ....its absolutely essential.

1 Corinthians 13 in the Message reads as follows:

1 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. 2 If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. 3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.

As we read the letter to the Corinthians we see Paul addressing a fragmented Church who are banging into one another and hurting each other as each person uses their gifts to show off and to puff themselves up as opposed to building the church up.

They are trying to show just how spiritual they are as if using the gifts is a measure of just how Godly or pious they are. However, gifts are clearly not the primary measure of the spirit's work in a believer's life... The true sign or evidence of the spirit's work in the life of a believer is a life characterized by love

Paul doesn't mince his words as he makes plain and clear that without love "You are nothing". For all your giving, for all your giftedness, even if you can reveal big spiritual mysteries or can move a mountain from it's very foundations, if love is not present you're wasting your breath and impressing nobody.

If we are going to measure our walk with God... Love is the measuring stick because...

You can be a Christian and not speak in tongues.

You can be a Christian and not have mighty mountain moving faith.

You can be a Christian and not speak prophetic words and pictures.

But you can't be a Christian and not love... it's essential and vital!

How sad we live in days where giftedness and ability are prized so often above character.

SO HOW ARE WE GOING TO DO IT?

LOVE IN THE WAY GOD CALLS US TO?

The bible makes it clear that we are to love as we have been loved (1 John 4 ) and that our love is to a response "In view of Gods mercy... live like this..."

From the passage in 1 Corinthians 13... surely we can say "hasn't God been patient with us with his love, hasn't he been kind to us with his love, hasn't he been long suffering... hasn't he been so loving, having chosen not to keep a record of our wrongs."

So, in light of his great measure of love toward us let us put on love... and love in the same manner that we have received love from the Father. Why not catch up with my teaching on this subject entitled "All you need is love". Click HERE to listen!

ARE YOU SPEAKING GOOD WORDS OR DO YOU NEED DUCK TAPE?

I'm looking week by week now at not "what we are called to build" but "how we can practicality build a community that honours God". It seems we are not just encouraged in Ephesians 4 v 29 to "think about" or "have a go" at God honouring speech but it's clearly a command. It doesn't deal with percentages like "hey, let's make sure our encouraging words and discouraging words have a 60-40% average..." No! The measure is clear! None or 0% unwholesome talk and all or 100% words that are characterised by being good, helpful, bringing encouragement, and are laced with grace to bring grace to the hearer.

How often do we stop and think of the effect of our words on others? John Meyer has a song called, "My stupid mouth":

My stupid mouth
Has got me in trouble
I said too much again
To a date over dinner yesterday
And I could see She was offended
She said "well anyway..."
Just dying for a subject change

It's a song about the effect of the things we say to others and he makes two points in the song.

Firstly, his mother had said to him so many times "think before speaking" and secondly as he ends the song he says "I'm never speaking up again, I'd rather be a mystery than she desert me." Yes John, "not speaking" is an option and we have all thought of that sometimes. But, meanwhile back in the real world we need to speak to build relationships that matter. A better option maybe is to submit ourselves to the scrutiny of God's word in Ephesians 4 v 29 and in light of it's teaching and the teaching that surrounds it in the book of Ephesians we need to put off unwholesome talk and put on words that build up, encourage, and give grace to the hearer.

Why not click HERE and listen to my latest talk, "Before you say that, will it build others up?"

IF YOU DON'T LISTEN TO IT... YOU MIGHT WANT TO GO WITH THE DUCK TAPE OPTION!!

Speaking About Zebras...

Last Sunday while preaching I headed off on one of those "how did I get to be speaking about this?!" moments. All preachers have them and sometimes they are a dead end street and other times there is a nugget of truth that just pops out and fits with all you are saying.

My thoughts raced to a recent trip to the zoo with my family. As we drove around on a tram observing all the animals we past the Zebras, I listened to the commentary and heard the guide say "the zebras stripes are for camouflage"... Now, I don't know about you but if I was in the Serengeti and my life depended on camouflage I would have chosen brown or green or some less obvious colours. I certainly wouldn't go for black and white stripes! You might as well just draw a target on the side of me! But the thing is, that zebras on their own (yes, they can get picked off) but when a herd of zebra stand together as in the picture below, their prey just sees one large animal. It can tell the front and the back but as the herd stand together they are too big to take on .

In the church of Jesus Christ when we stand alone we are very vulnerable but when we stand together we find strength in numbers. Isolated we are easy prey for the enemy but God never intended we should be isolated. He has made us a people and it's in community we find security and strength. I was listening to evangelist J John on this principle a while ago where he said "one snowflake on it's own falls on your face in the winter and you can brush it off your face but when you get many snowflakes together they can stop traffic. " We must recognise in our day that alone we are weak and vulnerable and it's only in community that we find strength, encouragement, and all the care we need. I thank God for the great idea of the body of Christ and all the encouragement being together brings. We are always more together than we are alone. It's the way God designed it. As it says in Ecclesiastes 4 v 9-12:

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.